It's Hell to be Old

MORE?

OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet!  
-------------
   
An 80-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample
tomorrow.'

The next day the 80-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar,
which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man  explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this -- first I tried  with my right hand, but nothing.  Then I tried  with my left hand, but still nothing.

'Then I asked my wife for help.  She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.  
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.

'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an  armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between  her knees, but still nothing.....'

The doctor was shocked!  'You asked your neighbor?'    
 
The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get  the jar open.'