to be on the lookout for symptoms of the following new
contagious diseases:-
ASSMA
Severe rashes around the mouth caused by kissing too much
ass. The number-one disease in Malaysia amongst civil
service.
DIAL-ARRHOEA
Uncontrollable urge to continually dial friends on
mobile phone to share with them such important
information as 'I'm now on the monorail'or
'I'm walking towards the car.' Victims can be recognized
by large, twitching thumb.
MEESLES
Blotchy skin condition caused by eating too many
packets of instant noodles.
MULTIPLE SPOUSOSIS
Affliction whereby victims make frequent trips to
Vietnam, Thailand, Indonesia, and China to take on
additional brides. Middle-aged men are at significant risk.
YELLOW FEVER
Compulsion to date Chinese women. Very common
affliction amongst Indian men and caucasian
expatriates working in Malaysia. Also known as
Pinkerton's Disease.
EKOR-TOTONUS
Flushed complexion, high blood pressure and
sometimes depression at finding out one has not
won any gaming numbers and lotteries.
HEAVYTITIS
Excessively large breasts. This disease comes in
several variant strains. Heavytitis C; Heavytitis D;
Heavytitis DD, and sometimes Heavytitis F...or even G.
CYBERTENSION
Feelings of stress and panic caused by lack of
internet access.
DYEBETES
A compulsive need to colour one's hair. Reddish
brown tints are the most common symptom, but health
authorities have reported a new strain of blond highlights.
CHICKEN TOX
Victims exhibit a great need to tokkok. Highly contagious.
Spread by ordinary conversation, and may be exacerbated by
good food and alcohol. Politicians and lawyers are
especially susceptible. Incurable.
ITCHINIA
The urge in some men after reaching 40 to go for young
chicks. This disease spreads fast among those with money and
position and cuts across both government and business
people. Beware of those who take trips out under the pretext
of duty or business. This is a dangerous symptom that the disease may
already
have taken hold.
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